It’s not a great term is it? “Heavily pregnant” but that’s what we’re going with. Now that I can finally say I’m having a baby next month, I definitely fall into that category of pregnancy, and I can confirm I very much feel (look) it.
It’s amazing how much you forget from one pregnancy to the next and for me it’s forgetting just how tired I get with just over a month to go. Having a toddler in tow this time probably doesn’t help with my energy levels, but gee-whizz, I feel like if my bladder (and constantly moving baby) allowed, I could sleep for a week without waking. Although a straight eight hours would be pretty rad right now.
Being heavily pregnant comes with other little bonuses too:
- Even maternity clothes are becoming slightly too tight. I mean come on, throw me a bone here, my current choice is anything that stretches or anything tent-like with holes for my head and arms.
- I feel like I could fall asleep anywhere except I can’t actually get comfortable enough to have a full night’s sleep ever. I actually believe I will have more sleep when this baby arrives, but that could just be denial.
- Every single movement I make comes complete with a sound effect.
- I’ve perfected the waddle, the hands on my lower back arching my back stance and the “don’t even try to talk to me” death stare.
- I’m so over being pregnant. I’m sure it’s my body’s way of preparing me to accept that shortly this baby will be coming out, which I am totally fine with.
- I swing between being excited and then in a state of almost denial mixed with fear. “Aww look at this little vest, how can something be so small? HOW DO I HOLD A NEWBORN WITHOUT BREAKING IT?” Pretty normal stuff there.
- Weird but normal for this stage in pregnancy bodily happenings start, well happening.
- I see my midwife more regularly which means making peace with peeing on my hand first thing, while trying to pee in a pot with the world’s smallest circumference.
- Personal grooming is no longer safe for me to do myself. We’ll just leave that one there.
- I’m hotter than the sun, and therefore probably one of the few people in the UK grateful we haven’t had a nice spring. Sorry!
- I’ve embraced the “full brief” and I have no regrets.
- I’ve forcibly embraced only slip-on footwear.
- I have to sit down to put on my pants, socks, leggings and trousers.
- When turning over in bed during the night I have to sit up and turn over, and then usually pee (in the toilet, not my bed).
- Right now the sound of cracking open a new Gaviscon seal is the non-pregnancy sound of the prosecco cork popping.
- The whole needing a pee immediately after I’ve just had a pee thing.
- The hormones that make me want to divorce myself are back. Ben is doing a top job of just dealing / ignoring them to be fair, depending on what he thinks is safest. I guess he has learnt from the first time!
- I spend a lot of time trying to imagine who this little one will look like. If this one could look like me a little that would be nice.
- I am constantly starving, but can no longer finish a meal, which you would think would be a good thing, but it basically means I snack hourly.
- Everyone in public stares at me. But they soon move out-of-the-way, I feel a little like Moses.
- I have to remember to only fill the bath halfway or it will spill over the sides.
- Seeing a sunny weather forecast makes me irrationally emotional.
- I really miss underwired bras, this mono-boob nursing bra look is not the one.