Surviving sleep regression, the amateur way….

Last week when we were on holiday at Bluestone, Reuben slept through every night, and slept-in until 8am / 8:30am every morning. It was heaven. Usually he sleeps through but wake up times can vary from 6am (eurghhhh) to 7:30am – if you’re really lucky.

This week he’s decided to wake up throughout the night again, and then up early doors (I’m inclined to blame the birds) and basically it’s turned me into a slightly crazy woman, and a bit of a zombie. I can’t be alone in this so I thought I would share my hugely unprofessional way of surviving sleep regression:

  1. Shout at your husband / partner – after all it’s their fault right? It will make you feel better and they will in no way think you’re a raving loony at all.
  2. Google – “why is my child waking in the night?” “How loud is too loud for birdsong?” “How to remove birds from your garden”.
  3. Have cake for breakfast.
  4. Have the rest of the cake for elevenses around about 9:30am and then weep at how much you’ve eaten already.
  5. At work? Go to the Mail Online sidebar and don’t just look at the pictures, read the celeb articles, this will help pass the time until you can have lunch.
  6. Not at work? Be the first person in the park with your child, let them run off steam, really tire them out, ask them run as fast as animals or to run and touch the furthest trees. They’ll definitely sleep for at least 12 hours tonight.
  7. Have lunch at 11:30am (if you’re in an office glare at anyone who raises an eyebrow); make sure you eat carbs (potato waffles if you’re at home), followed by chocolate, maybe some cheese. Have a weep about your calorie intake and ready the Mail Online again.
  8. Your husband/partner will probably text you to see if you’re ok, ignore them for a while, that’ll learn him.
  9. Make copious cups of tea and either use two teabags or put in too much milk. Have a weep about this.
  10. Research expensive eye creams that claim to remove eye puffiness and reduce dark circles. Don’t buy one but instead buy something you don’t need off Amazon.
  11. Go back to the park and repeat point 6. Stop at a café on the way home for more sustenance (cake).
  12. Make potato waffles, fish fingers and beans for dinner. Weep because you feel guilty about not making some kind of hidden veg, super food meal. Eat your dinner and the child’s unchewed leftovers.
  13. Count down the minutes until your child’s bedtime, because that means it’s yours too, wahooooo!

S xxx

Cake solves everything

Cake solves everything

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